{"id":564,"date":"2012-06-28T13:05:52","date_gmt":"2012-06-28T17:05:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/muskokarivercomputer.com\/nicpaterson\/?p=564"},"modified":"2012-06-28T17:47:36","modified_gmt":"2012-06-28T21:47:36","slug":"june-9th-to-june-22nd-week-eighteen-to-twenty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/?p=564","title":{"rendered":"June 9th to June 28thWeek Eighteen to Twenty"},"content":{"rendered":"

Too Scared to Blog<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Three weeks ago Nicolas was sitting by himself and moving from side to side, gaining balance with his upper body. His wrists had full extention, his legs and toes where gaining strength, he was gaining weight. He smiled alot. He hung out with his friends and gave me a hard time about over mothering. Usually sending me home so he could chill at the end of the day. We talked about me going back to work and that he was happy to do rehab without my hovering. Physio was just planning to get him on the stand up machine, which in our world is a very big step! (See what I did there?)<\/p>\n

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Then on Friday June the 8th he threw up in Physio with a pain in his abdomen that he said was a 10\/10 pain. By Sunday he was on Percocet and by Wednesday he was rushed to St. Micheals Hospital. \u00a0He spent a week there, with CT scans, ultrasounds, scopes which found nothing. Nic was sent home from the Hospital with pain medication that disturbed me to my core. But there was no option…we needed to relieve his pain until this passed. Are you kidding me?<\/p>\n

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It didn’t pass and Nic laid in bed for the rest of the week, not getting better. His Doctors at Lyndhurst continued to try to find the cause of his pain and sickness. He didn’t get to go to camp.<\/p>\n

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In these three weeks I \u00a0had a house to pack and \u00a0to close on June 26th. \u00a0Family and friends where with Nic every day to be by his side when I couldn’t be with him and friends in Muskoka (Mississauga too) helped with the crazy packathon. \u00a0I was back and forth from the north (which at times I call my pity party highway) so many times I can’t even remember. When I was there, I hated being there but I had no choice. I thought that this might be the worst time in my life. Packing a home we \u00a0built together, moving to a city we do not want to live in, leaving Muskoka our home…not being with Nic when he needed me. What is up with this timing? why? No really why is this happening?<\/p>\n

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It wasn’t the worst time in our lives I have come to learn.<\/p>\n

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Today is one of the worst. I always wanted the blog to be upbeat and positive…because that is the essence of us Paterson’s. All the positive energy, smiles and \u00a0upbeat enthusiasm where our motto. But today I am scared, I still smile if for any reason, just not to cry and I am truly not sure how this is going to play out.<\/p>\n

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We moved all of the contents of Parkers Point to storage on Saturday. Saturday at 9:30pm my Aunt Donna called me to tell me Nic had been rushed back to St. Micheal’s Hospital unresponsive. \u00a0Unresponsive? Is that a coma? Is he going to come out? Is he going to die? The drive reminded me of being on the cruise on February 9th when Nic had the accident.<\/p>\n

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Aunt Sue went in the ambulance with him and after having a meltdown with David, I jumped in my Jeep and raced down the pity party highway. \u00a0When he arrived they had given him Narcan. It is an injection that reverses the effects of \u00a0narcotic pain relievers. He was overdosing on HydroMorph. The drug that shook me to my core. \u00a0It was truly disturbing seeing him so medicated, then injected and he was Nic again. Narcan only works for a short period of time, then he goes back into his fog.<\/p>\n

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The medical team that sent him home earlier in the week walked into our Emergency Room. \u00a0The Residents who put my son on HydroMorph looked at me, knowing how much I fought against such drugs and that even under medical supervision these drugs could have\u00a0killed my son.<\/p>\n

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And I still kept my composure, although I just wanted to punch them in the head. I gave them my speech.<\/p>\n

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My Aunts Donna and Sue came to look after Nic on the Friday and Saturday while I moved as you have\u00a0probably\u00a0already figured out. \u00a0On Sunday, my Aunt Sue had severe pains and was taken to Emergency with\u00a0Pancreatitis. She is better now and is resting at home, but the pictures of Nic in bed and her in Bed 2, are about the only “isn’t that funny” that I have for the blog this time.<\/p>\n

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Nic in Bed 9<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Aunt Sue in Bed 2<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0Isn’t it crazy that I think having my son and Aunt in the same emergency room 7 beds away from each other is “Funny?”<\/p>\n

Oh my I’m in trouble :0<\/p>\n

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It is Thursday June 28th, and we still have no answers to Nicolas’ pain. He is heavily medicated, and then we give him something for\u00a0nausea, then something for his spazms and his bladder and a needle to thin his blood, and nerve pain medication, something to coat his stomach, something to make his bowels work and it goes on.<\/p>\n

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I look at people more closely now. I wonder if I threw my problems into a hat with their problems, if I would take my problems back. I think of the unfairness of it all, and pray for the Doctor’s to find the \u00a0answers to Nic’s pain. Because this is brutal.<\/p>\n

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It’s just not right.<\/p>\n

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Too Scared to Blog   Three weeks ago Nicolas was sitting by himself and moving from side to side, gaining balance with his upper body. His wrists had full extention, his legs and toes where gaining strength, he was gaining weight. He smiled alot. He hung out with his friends and gave me a hard…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/564","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=564"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/564\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":596,"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/564\/revisions\/596"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicpaterson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}